Desperation can lead to insanity
by Sweet Fur Inu
Summary: Saionji is desperate to win back Anthy, when he pulls a gun on Utena in a duel, something goes wrong. they along with Miki, Juri, Touga and co find themselves in a new place, and acting the total opposite than normal! Insanity is sure to ensue.Chuchu talk
1. Personality Change

Wow Inu-chan hasn't written anything in a LONG time! But for good reason! My compy is currently dead, and right now I'm at my aunts house. I've had a rough day so I need to write something humorous. I'm new here in the Utena section so I want to tell everyone HI! I'm Inu and I hope this ficcy goes ok. It was just a random idea that popped into my mind. I'm a big fan of Utena. I've read up to volume 3 in the manga, seen the movie, and as far as the series goes, well I can't seem to find beginning dvds anywhere, so I finally said to myself screw it, by whatever! I bought one that came in a pretty box set thingy that included a t-shirt! Its called 'Temptation' I think it has ep. 27-30 on it. Anyway, I hope I do ok personality wise for everyone. Oh! I especially hope I do alright with Nanami, the dvd was the first time I saw her, but I think I get how she is. Oops! Almost forgot the disclaimer! Ooh! And I think it's a bit slow at first, but please give it a chance!  
  
DISCLAIMER: I own Revolutionary Girl Utena! No not really, but damn I wish I did!  
  
We start off with a shot of Ohtori Academy. Students are walking around talking with one another, etc. We then see the student council room, where Saionji is sitting at a table, lost in thought.  
  
Saionji: (thinking) Anthy Himemiya...I MUST have her! No matter what it takes..i must defeat Utena Tenjou and win back the Rose Bride..  
  
He gets up and leaves. Still seemingly lost in thought. Nanami looks over in his direction.  
  
Nanami: (eating) Whats up with him?  
  
Juri: (shrugs)  
  
Meanwhile Utena is walking down the halls with Anthy. They are then approached by Saionji.  
  
Saionji: Utena Tenjou I challenge you to a duel! And this time I swear I wont be defeated! I WILL take back Anthy from you! I'll meet you in the dueling arena after school! (walks off) Utena: (blinks. Has surprised look on her face) Well that was unexpected..(sighs) here we go again Anthy..  
  
Anthy just stands there and nods.  
  
After School  
  
((I think this is what they normally do judging by my dvd I bought..)) we see a waterfall like thing and 'The Revelation of Absolute Destiny' plays. We see Utena and Anthy who are in an elevator going up. Anthy changes into her rose bride dress and then changes Utena into her uniform. They arrive at the dueling field, Saionji is already there, waiting. Saionji: (smirks) There you are. This is it Utena, your last duel!  
  
Utena: Right Saionji..  
  
Anthy places the roses in their pockets. Utena then takes the sword of Dios from Anthy and stands in fighting position.  
  
Saionji: Prepare yourself Utena Tenjou! (charges)  
  
Utena: (counters his attack) (continues to fight with him)  
  
They continue like this for a bit. They both separate and face eachother. Saionji: (thinking) Damn..she's gotten even better..  
  
He starts laughing. Utena looks puzzled.  
  
Utena: what is so funny!?  
  
Saionji: (throws down his sword) I told I would win this duel and take back the Rose Bride, and I meant it! (reaches into his pocket)  
  
Utena: What the hell are you doing!?  
  
Saionji takes out a gun and points it at Utena. Utena gasps and Anthy's eyes widen a bit.  
  
Utena: Saionji! What are you thinking!?..  
  
Saionji shoots the gun at her. Utena narrowly dodges the bullet. The bullet went high, and it accidentally hits World's End. A mysterious light then shines down from World's End and a strange portal appears.  
  
Utena, Saionji: What the hell!?  
  
They along with Anthy are sucked in. We then see the student council and Miki, Juri, Touga, and Nanami disappear and are sucked in as well. Chuchu also gets sucked in.  
  
Later  
  
Utena is lying on the ground unconscious. She wakes up and rubs her head.  
  
Utena: Ow my head..(she looks around. Anthy, Saionji, Juri, Miki, Nanami, Chuchu, and Touga are lying unconscious around her. She notices they're not at Ohtori..but somewhere completely different.) ......(she screams...Very loudly and high pitched, it wakes everyone around her up.)  
  
When the others come to, they notice they're somewhere that's not Ohtori. They also notice Utena is whimpering and rocking herself back and fourth with fear in her eyes.  
  
Anthy: (voice is confident and strong, not shy or timid) Don't worry Utena, we'll find our way back.  
  
Utena: (voice is timid and somewhat shaky cause she's scared) (hugs Anthy) I wanna go home! Juri: Like, oh my god, where the hell are we? (talking like a valley girl in case no one noticed) Miki: Yo hoes its ok, don't be scared, Miki the pimp's here! (puts his arms around Juri, Anthy, and Utena.)  
  
Juri moves away, Utena blushes a bit and clings to Anthy, and Anthy slaps him.  
  
Anthy: Miki!  
  
Miki: ow..Yo hoe don't make me come ova there and beat yo' bitchass!  
  
Anthy: (glare) I'd like to see you try!  
  
Saionji: (voice is all squeaky and hyper-like) FIGHT FIGHT! (jumps around hyperly)  
  
Nanami: (voice is caring and sweet) Oh no, please don't fight you guys, we have to work together to get back..  
  
Touga: (voice kinda has a lisp to it. His eyes widen) Oh my god! This can't be! I think I've broken a nail! The group looks at him and sweatdrops.  
  
Chuchu: ..(speaks! Like a human! Voice is..rather normal.) Have you all lost your minds! Whats wrong with you!? Your all acting the total opposite of yourselves!  
  
They all look at Chuchu, schocked.  
  
All: Chuchu! You can talk!?  
  
Chuchu: (blink) ..um..yeah I guess so! but that's not the point! We need to find out where we are and how we can get back home!  
  
Anthy: Chuchu's right!  
  
Just then a young woman with long silver hair and golden eyes appears before them, a blue aura surrounding her.  
  
Woman: You all want to get back? Then you must find 3 jewels. You will find them by wandering throughout this world. Once you've got all 3 I will find you again and send you home and you'll all be normal again. The 3 jewels names are: The Rose Crystal, the Star Crystal, and the Rainbow Crystal.  
  
Anthy: But wait, why do we need to find these jewels in order to get back? And who are you?  
  
Woman: My name is Kotomia and that is a very good question! honestly I don't know myself! My master just told me to tell you guys that. Juri: So like, who's your master?  
  
Kotomia: (sweatdrop) um..Can't tell you that! Good luck! Bye bye!  
  
Touga: Wait! Kotomia I must know where do you get your hair done!?  
  
Everyone does an anime fall.  
  
Kotomia: ..um...(throws him a random hair product)  
  
She then disappears and glittery dust is left behind.  
  
Kotomia's voice from somewhere: (cough cough) damn cheap fairy dust! I don't get paid enough for this!  
  
Everyone sweatdrops and hearing that.  
  
Touga: (huggles the bottle) Oh I'll never let this go! I can't wait to use it! ( he kisses it and the others stare) Utena: Oh no! that sounds dangerous! We don't really have to go do we!? It sounds scary!  
  
Miki: (puts his arm around her) don't worry Utena babe! (winks) like I said befo', Miki is here to protect you!  
  
Utena: (sniffle) Somehow I still don't feel safe..(she clings to Anthy)  
  
Chuchu: Well it looks like we have to go.  
  
Anthy nods. Saionji begins jumping around hyperly.  
  
Saionji: WHEEEE! ADVENTURE ADVENTURE!  
  
The others stare at him and sweatdrop.  
  
Anthy: Anyway..  
  
Juri: Like no way am I going on any stupid adventure! I mean, I just did my hair, AND I like totally don't want to ruin my new shoes!  
  
Miki: don't worry about that Juri sweets, I can carry you on my back—  
  
Anthy slaps him.  
  
Anthy: Miki!  
  
Juri: I think I'll like, totally pass.  
  
Miki: damn.  
  
Touga: I totally agree with Juri!  
  
Anthy and Chuchu roll their eyes.  
  
Chuchu: Come on you guys! Do you wanna get home or not!? I mean Whats one lost pair of shoes compared to being stuck in another world for life!?  
  
Touga, Juri: A lot!  
  
Touga and Juri eventually give in. and the group begins their journey that will take them to insanity.  
  
Later.  
  
Its gotten rather dark out.  
  
Utena: (clings to Anthy's arm) Whaah! I'm scared Anthy!  
  
Juri: Like, my feet totally hurt!  
  
Touga: My soft delicate, beautiful hair wasn't meant for suck hikes..  
  
Nanami: How is everyone doing? If your all hungry maybe if we find a town I can cook something for us all..  
  
Miki: damn I could be scorin' with some hoes right about now..  
  
Saionji: (bouncing half the way) Whee! I hope we get to someplace soon! (does a flip)  
  
Everyone continues to complain like this.  
  
Anthy: GODDAMMIT WOULD YOU ALL PLEASE SHUT UP FOR 2 SECONDS!? WE MAY OR WE MAY NOT FIND A TOWN BUT-- ..hey look, a town!  
  
They all stop in front of a cozy little village. They all look relieved and enter it.  
  
MWAHAHAHAHA! What what will befall our group in the town!? Find out when I update! I hope everyone liked it I did my best. If anyone has any ideas or anything they wanna share tell me in a review. Review please. Oh! And in case you couldn't see it, here's everyone's switched personalities:  
  
Utena: Shy, Scared, dependant. Clingy.  
  
Anthy: More like Utena. A lot more confident and brave then before.  
  
Chuchu: Well, he can talk! And is like the normalest one in the group.  
  
Juri: total valley girl.  
  
Miki: Playboy, pimp. Not our sweet lil Miki.  
  
Touga: No offense to anyone, but like those gay I think maybe sorta stereotypes on tv. Lisp, girly. NO OFFENSE TO ANYONE!  
  
Saionji: Hyper. Hyper as hell.  
  
Nanami: She seemed rather self-centered to me. Caring, selfless, sweet. A lot like Tohru from Fruits Basket in a way. 


	2. Insomnia at the Waffle Hotel!

Whee! I'm back! Sorry it took a bit to update, been kinda busy and my comp still aint fixed! I just finished reading the 4th Utena manga, and I got another dvd, it was actually the one before the last one I bought, its called 'The Beginning of the End' So anyway, on with the story! !#$%&()----------------------------  
  
Ok, where we left off our crack group has entered their first city, and are supposed to be looking for 3 magical jewels so they can get back to their world and get their personalities back. Key word, SUPPOSED...  
  
The group is walking through the town, along the way some people stare at them. Saionji spots something and he stops.  
  
Anthy: What is it Saionji?  
  
Saionji: =D CANDYYYYYY!!!!!!! (runs inside the candy store and everybody falls over anime style)  
  
Anthy: SAIONJI!  
  
Anthy and the others go into the candy shop and sweatdrop as they see Saionji happily swimming in the candy and eating it, while the store owner is yelling at him. Anthy goes over and pulls him out.  
  
Anthy: Saionji this is no time to eat candy!  
  
Chuchu: Really! We have a mission to think about!  
  
Store Owner Dude: HEY! HE ATE HALF MY MERCHANDISE! Your going to pay for it dammit!  
  
Just then Kotomia walks in the store. She sighs and shakes her head.  
  
Kotomia: (Thinking) God dammit! Why do I have to guide these retards!? (Out loud) Don't worry sir, it will be taken care of!  
  
S.O.D: It better Miss Kotomia!  
  
Kotomia: Don't worry. (to Anthy and the others) Now come on before you all cause anymore trouble! (she takes them out of the store)  
  
Anthy: Sorry Kotomia.  
  
Kotomia: (sigh) its ok just watch yourselves. Anyway, rest up tonight you all have rooms set up in that hotel over there (points at hotel) Don't make anymore trouble here tonight. Ok!? They all nod.  
  
Kotomia: If you want the first crystal, you have to see the ruler of this town tomorrow morning. He lives in the big mansion down the road.  
  
Chuchu: Who is he?  
  
Kotomia: (Watch beeps) whoops sorry, times up, can't tell you anymore! Seeya around!  
  
Miki: Wait!  
  
Kotomia: (rolls eyes) What is it?  
  
Miki: (winks at her) Why don't you stay in my hotel room with me tonight and we can get to know eachother a little better if you know what I mean..  
  
Anthy: (whacks him) Miki!  
  
Miki: God dammit stop doin' that ho!  
  
Kotomia: hehe, I think I'll pass.  
  
She disappears in the fairy dust again.  
  
Kotomia's Voice: (Cough cough cough) JESUS CHRIST! THAT IS THE LAST TIME I BUY FAIRY DUST FROM WAL-MART! The cheap-ass bastards..!  
  
Everyone sweatdrops and then heads to the hotel. Which is named the 'Waffle Hotel' When they go inside a worker lady shows them all to their rooms.  
  
Chuchu: Um..Miss? One question, why is this called the Waffle Hotel?  
  
Worker Lady: ..because..that's what the Master named it..  
  
Chuchu: Who's this Master?  
  
Kotomia's Voice: Dammit! The Master is the Master! Now quit asking dumb-ass questions I'm tryin' to go to sleep!  
  
Chuchu and everyone else sweatdrops and go into their rooms. Touga and Saionji share a room, Miki and Chuchu share a room, Juri and Nanami share a room, and Utena and Anthy share a room. Within the first ten minutes theyre all out in the hallway complaining. This is what happened to each pair:  
  
::Juri and Nanami:: Nanami quietly sits on the bed and prepares to go to sleep but Juri is having some problems.  
  
Juri: (sees a spider. She shrieks loudly and jumps on the bed) AIEEEEEE!! NANAMI!! KILL IT!  
  
Nanami: (looks at the spider) Oh no Juri, I don't think we should kill the poor little thing..its just a spider..  
  
Juri: JUST a spider!? I, LIKE TOTALLY HATE spiders!  
  
Juri kills it with nanami's shoe and Nanami sweatdrops. Juri then notices lots of dead bugs on the window sill. She screams bloody murder and runs out of the room, Nanami follows her.  
  
::Miki and Chuchu::  
  
Chuchu is lying on his bed resting, and Miki is sitting on his bed with a stressed look on his face.  
  
Miki: damn! Why'd I have to get stuck with the monkey!? I wish I coulda been with one of the ladies..(sigh) I guess I'll work on my Miki da pimp rap!  
  
Miki begina rapping..badly, Chuchu opens his eyes and looks annoyed.  
  
Chuchu:..Miki..please stop..  
  
Miki continues.  
  
Chuchu: Miki stop.  
  
Miki still continues.  
  
Chuchu: (one pissed lil talking monkey thing) GOD DAMMIT MIKI I SAID STOP! YOU COULDN'T RAP TO SAVE YOUR LIFE!  
  
Miki looks angry and he glares at Chuchu.  
  
Miki: I'd like to see you do better monkey!  
  
Chuchu: I bet I could do at least ten times better than you!  
  
Miki: oh yeah?! We'll see! RAP BATTLE!  
  
Chuchu: WHAT!?  
  
Miki begins rapping horribly again. Chuchu holds his ears and runs out of the room. Miki then hears Juri scream and runs out to see whats wrong.  
  
::Touga and Saionji::  
  
Saionji is jumping around the room hyperly while sucking on a lollipop he stole from the candy store and Touga is trying to sleep.  
  
Saionji: WHEE!!!!!  
  
Touga: (sigh) Saionji please. I need my beauty sleep!  
  
Saionji: aww Touga! Its to early to sleeeeep! (huggles him)  
  
Touga: eww get off me your filthy! (he gets up.) Well if your going to continue I might as well take a nice shower..  
  
Touga goes into the bathroom and looks at the shampoo, soaps, and towels. He makes a sound like he's disgusted and walks out of the bathroom.  
  
Touga: Just how do these people expect me to make myself beautiful with those horrible kind of products anyway!? And those towels are filthy! I'm going straight to the manager about this!  
  
Saionji: WHEE! MANAGER!  
  
Touga leaves and Saionji bounces along behind him. But Touga stops as soon as he enters the hall and sees the other people out there. Saionji does flips around them all while still eating his beloved lollipop.  
  
::Utena and Anthy::  
  
Utena and Anthy are both in their beds and getting ready to go to sleep. Utena hears some sort of noise and hides under her covers.  
  
Utena: A-Anthy! D-did you hear that?  
  
Anthy: Hear what?  
  
Utena hears another noise and an owl makes an owly noise. She screams.  
  
Utena: EEK! There it is again!  
  
She jumps into Anthy's bed next to her.  
  
Utena: (sniffle) Anthy can I please sleep with you tonight?! I'm scared!!! (clings to her)  
  
Anthy rolls her eyes.  
  
Anthy: Utena..it was probably just an owl or something. Everythings fine.  
  
Utena: nuh uh! I think this place may be haunted! ....(she shivers a bit) I hate ghosts! (she clings to Anthy tighter)  
  
Anthy sighs and gets ready to say something but she hears people outside their room.  
  
Anthy: Do you hear that? I wonder whats going on out there..I'm gonna go check it out.  
  
Utena's eyes grow wide.  
  
Utena: NOO!! Anthy take me with you! You have to!!! The mean ghosts will eat me!!!!  
  
Anthy: (sigh) ok ok, just come on!  
  
She gets up and leaves and Utena clings to her arm and follows. They go outside and see everybody else. Juri is saying how she refuses to sleep in the room, Miki is comforting her and hitting on her, Touga is complaining about the towels and shower stuff, Chuchu is holding his ears, Saionji is jumping around everybody, and Nanami is trying to calm everyone down. Utena then begins whining about ghosts and Miki comforts and hits on her as well. Anthy sweatdrops and gets an annoyed look. Just then they hear a whistle and they all look in its direction.  
  
Utena: Wh-what was that!? GHOSTS!!!! (she hides behind Anthy)  
  
Then a giant waffle person appears and begins yelling at them all, and threatening to kick them out. The group stares at it and decide not to argue with a giant waffle, so they all obdeiantly go to their rooms and go to sleep.  
  
::Next Morning::  
  
The Next morning our group eats a nice breakfast of..WAFFLES! And then they leave and head towards the mansion Kotomia told them about. Anthy knocks on the door and waits for an answer when they get there. The doors open exposing a hallway.  
  
Chuchu: I guess we go in now..  
  
Utena: NOOO!!! (clings to Anthy's arm) it looks scary! It could be a trap!!  
  
Miki: Aww don't worry Utena, Miki da pimp is always here to protect you!  
  
Anthy: shut up Miki! Well Utena it's a chance we're gonna have to take.  
  
Utena: (sniffle. Clings to Anthy tighter)  
  
The group cautiously goes in. They walk down the hall for a while, then they hear a voice.  
  
Voice: Good of you all to come..  
  
The person behind the voice then appears in front of everyone. Its..the little Monopoly Man! The group gasps at the sight of him.  
  
##$$%%---------------------  
  
Yes, cliffie. I think. Why is the Monopoly man there? Well..i don't know, but he is and find out what kind of sinister Monopoly manish plans he has next chappie! I'll update when I can, thank you to the two peoples who reviewed me. 


	3. Do you know The Muffin Man?

Whee! Here's ch.3! That's all I have to say!

###%$&(()

Juri: (stares at the Monopoly Man) I-It can't be…

Utena: NUUUUUUUU!!!!! Its worst than I thought!!!

Monopoly Man: MWAHAHAHA!! FEAR ME MASSES! FOR I AM, THE MONOPOLY MAN!

Everyone minus Anthy and Chuchu screams.

Monopoly Man: (begins singing 'The Revelation of Absolute Destiny' for absolutely no reason.) Zettai unmei mokushiroku Shuseii--

Utena screams bloody murder.

Utena: NOOOOOO!!!! IT MUST BE SOME KIND OF DEATH SONG!!!!! MY EARS!!!!!

Monopoly Man(will now be known as MM cause I'm lazy): HEY! How dare you interrupt me you bitch!

Utena: Wahh Anthy he's yelling at meee! (Hides behind Anthy)

Anthy sighs and shakes her head.

Anthy: Listen, Mr. …Monopoly Man..My friends and I are here o--

Monopoly Man: WHEE!!!!! (he begins jumping around the them)

Saionji: WHEEEE!!!! (jumps with him)

Everyone sweatdrops.

Anthy: Hey! Are you listening!?

MM: Nope, not at all.

He hops by Juri, who's eyes widen.

Juri: AHHH!!! Like, oh my god, that pervert groped me! Sicko! (she bitchslaps him)

MM: Oh, fiesty are we? (winks at her)

Juri: EWWW!

Miki: Yo, hey brudda, that's MY ho!

MM: (sticks his tongue out at Miki)

Chuchu: KYAAAA!!! (he jumps on the Monopoly man and bites him)

MM: YEOWWWWWWWW!!!!!

Chuchu: LISTEN HERE YOU ASSWIPE! We're on a goddamn mission so we can get back home! And we need your HELP! Now, what do you know about the Star, Rainbow, or Rose Crystals!?

MM: o.o; ohhhh =3 You want the Star Crystal do you?

All: Yes!

Nanami: Please.

MM: Well…

Anthy: Well?

MM: Do you know…………The Muffin Man?

Anthy: The Muffin Man?

MM: The Muffin Man.

Chuchu: The Muffin Man?

MM: The Muffin Man.

Utena: The M-Muffin Man?..

MM: The Muffin Man.

Touga: The Muffin Man?

MM: The Muffin Man.

Saionji: WHEE!! X3 The Mu--

Anthy: ALRIGHT IT'S THE GODDAMNED MUFFIN MAN!

MM: Yes, The Muffin Man.

Chuchu: What about him? No, we don't know him.

MM: If you want the Star Crystal, then you must find the Muffin Man. And bring him to me.

Anthy sighs.

Anthy: Alright, do you know where we can find him?

MM: I'd check the next town up the road. Its called Chicken Cookie Town.

Chuchu: Chicken Cookie Town?

MM: Chicken Cookie Town.

Utena: Chicken Cookie Town?

MM: Chicken Cookie Town.

Nanami: Chicken C--

Anthy: PLEASE LETS NOT START THAT AGAIN! .

All: Okies smokies.

Anthy stares at them oddly.

Anthy: ..o…k…

Chuchu: (Sigh) I guess lets go find this Muffin Man at Chicken Cookie Town..

The others nod and leave The Monopoly Man smirks to himself.

MM: Yes, Muffy once your returned to me, I'll never let you leave again…MWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! (is whacked in the head by a monopoly board) Ouch…

DUN DUN DUN DUN!!!!!!

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Well, that's it, how was it? Please review everyone, I'll update when I can! Bye for now! =3


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